Candy Gone Stale
by Chocoholic-Wallflower
Summary: -and it's All Style's Fault. Wendy rants about what she has to go through on FanFiction. "I always have to be the Slave Princess Leia forced to be with Jabba the Hutt. It's always like this." Slight Candy and Style bashing. Reviews are highly appreciated.


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**I thought of this in my gym class some days ago and just HAD to do this! It's about my annoyance with a pairing that's often associated with the slash pairing Style. No offense to any fans of slash, but I despise it. I mean, why does the "South Park" fanbase have this problem?**

**Although this pairing is het, I for some reason don't like this. It's Candy(AKA Cartman x Wendy), this pairing is often associated with Style BECAUSE; they almost always pair Wendy with Cartman in stories involving Style. Seriously, this pairing is only good in a onesided sense, in my opinion of course. But Candy became so popular, Stendy has become more and more rare these days. Now Candy has apparently turned stale now. Just remember this is a parody and there's multiple breaks of the fourth wall.**

**I don't own South Park or anything else.**

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Wendy sat in the "South Park FanFiction Archive"(AKA SPFA) waiting room. She was almost done reading "Anne of Green Gables". For being cooped up in the waiting room with other characters, books were now a luxury for Wendy. Bebe would often nag about her new shoes, Kevin kept waving around his "Star Wars" lightsaber, Chef would sing some sexually oriented songs and cook food, Mr. Mackey would be a counselor and talk to characters who became insane from being in the crowded waiting room, Craig flipped people off, Tweek constantly got coffee from the vending machine, and the list would just go on and on.

Wendy sighed, closing her book and looked to the audience(us). "Hi, all you readers. My name is Wendy Testaburger, I'm the prominent female character for the cartoon, "South Park". Most characters like Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Craig, and Tweek are out often, being part of numerous stories. Gay ones at that," Wendy explained, becoming monotone at the last sentence. "You see, they're hardly ever here, usually always being forced to act gay for peoples' amusement in fanfics."

Wendy then stood up, and tried to tell the whole situation. "I don't know how this whole "South Park" yaoi and yuri thing started, but I'll tell you, it sucks. Inside the Fanfiction website, all fictional characters, including myself, have to wait in these rooms when we're not needed for fics. For us, the adults and minors like my friend Red don't come out very often...The main recurring kids always seem to get the glory. I will admit, there have been some cases of some characters who went insane from being here too long. This is a pretty good example."

Wendy pointed towards a corner, showing Officer Barbrady roll himself into a ball, muttering under his breath. Mr. Mackey was there trying to calm him down. Wendy just looked at the scene with concern and walked over. "Hey, is everything okay for Officer Barbrady?" Wendy asked.

"Don't worry, Wendy. You have your own things to do, 'mkay."

"Oh..Well, okay. I guess I'm off." Wendy said with a wave before walking away.

"Wendy?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Huh?" Wendy turned around.

"A few minutes ago, I think I heard your name called for another fic, 'mkay."

"I do?" Wendy asked before remembering...

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Flashback...

**"WENDY TESTABURGER, YOU'RE NEEDED FOR A FANFIC! I REPEAT, WENDY TESTABURGER, YOU'RE NEEDED FOR A FANFIC!" **a masked voice on the intercom spoke.

However, Wendy was too distracted with her book and didn't listen. She then flipped to another page.

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Wendy's sea-green eyes went wide, "Oh, God."

Running fast, Wendy came up to..THE DOOR and opened it, a bright white light appeared as she walked out THE DOOR. Officer Barbrady, quick as a ninja, rushed to THE DOOR in an attempt to escape. "Shiiiinnnnyyyy..." But failed as THE DOOR shut itself right in front of him.

Meanwhile, in another room that looked just like a studio, THE DOOR opened, the same white light appeared as Wendy came out. An author walked up to her, their face censored for random reasons. The author spoke to Wendy in a masked voice, "Wendy, you're late for arrival."

"I-I'm sorry, I was too engrossed by this book and-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the author interrupted, "Here's your script, and the story plot, start reading them."

The author walked off to get a cappuccino, leaving Wendy in the studio, who sighed as she read the story plot. "Ugh, not another one of these! It's almost always the same!"

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"I always have to be the Slave Princess Leia forced to be with Jabba the Hutt. It's always like this:" Wendy ranted.

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Story plot #1: Stan and Wendy were together holding hands, saying "Lalalalalalala!" in a sing-songy voice.

No longer singing, Stan turned his head towards Wendy, "Wendy, I need to talk to you."

Wendy's face switched from happy to concerned and asked, "What, Stan?"

Stan explained in monotone, "I've been meaning to say this for a long time, but...I'm dumping you for Kyle!"

"WHAT? STAN, WHY?" Wendy shrieked, her eyes wide and glassy.

"Sigh, because we're super best friends, DUH! All super best friends love each other! And besides, you're a b**ch." Stan said before flipping her off.

Wendy stood there, frozen in shock, and yet, now was crying. Kyle then appeared randomly out of nowhere, and grabbed Stan by the hand. "Hey Stan? Wanna make out now?" Kyle asked, batting his eyelashes in a flirtatious way.

Stan grinned, "Sure dude."

And Stan and Kyle walked away and sang "Lalalalalalala!" as they disappeared from the screen, leaving Wendy in tears. A raining thundercloud appeared above her head as she ran off to who knows where to cry her eyes out. Wendy stumbled on a random rock, crying some more and laying on her stomach. Then Cartman walks by while whistling, his attention now towards Wendy on the ground. He taps her on the back, "Wendeh?"

"Sniffle, go away, fata$$!"

"No way! I wanna help you!"

Wendy got up, drying her tears. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because I love you, b**ch! I always have!"

"Wh-what?" Wendy asked, she couldn't believe it.

"Don't believe me? Watch-" Cartman said as he kissed Wendy RIGHT ON DA LIPS. Wendy blushed like crazy, her eyes sparkled as positive feelings of Cartman filled her body. She didn't need Stan, she always had someone else to kiss passionately, because Cartman and Wendy are both SOOOO PASSIONATE!

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Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, Wendy, and Cartman both sat down on a staircase. The horrible nightmare was over. It was yet another Style and Candy fic. Stan, Kyle, and Wendy were incredibly relieved, but Cartman actually enjoyed it. After all, he did have a slight crush on Wendy, and also Shelley, Patty, and Heidi. Wendy then looked to the audience. "Do you see what I was trying to tell you readers? You should all know I LOATHE Cartman and will never get together with him. I mean, you all made Candy stale by using it in Style way too much." Wendy explained.

"Yeah, and Style's even more stale now. I'm not gay for Stan!" Kyle chimed in.

"Don't listen to Kahl. Readers, you can make all the Style fics you want. And Candy." Cartman said.

"F**K YOU!" Stan, Kyle, and Wendy yelled.

"And now that it's over, we can spend some time together." Stan said to Wendy who giggled.

However, THE DOOR appeared, opening itself as the white light showed itself. "Oh, damn," Wendy moaned. "Maybe some other time, Stan. Love you."

Wendy kissed Stan on the cheek, who threw up. But instead of the usual "Ewww!" from Wendy, she laughed hysterically. Then Stan and Kyle started laughing as Cartman glared at them, Stan's barf all over his head. So before Cartman could start his temper tantrum Wendy ran out THE DOOR, returning to the waiting room as she waits for a new fic with her in it. "Well, this is pretty much how my FanFiction life is. And it just plain sucks." Wendy said to herself, getting another book to read from her bag.

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**THE END! This is the end of my Candy spoof. If you're wondering about THE DOOR, it's a 'lil reference to "Charlie the Unicorn". THE DOOR IS EVERYTHING. ALL THAT ONCE WAS AND ALL THAT WILL BE. THE DOOR CONTROLS TIME AND SPACE, LOVE AND DEATH. THE DOOR CAN SEE INTO YOUR MIND, THE DOOR CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL...**

**R&R, PLEASE! If you do, I'll be sooo happy. C=**


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